Archive for the ‘Senators’ Category

BREAKING NEWS: John McCain Visits RNC Headquarters, Discusses Soon to be Operational Border Fence


Sen. Roland Burris’ Version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’

December 23, 2009 2 comments

Text of Poem

It was the night before Christmas, and all through the Senate
the right held up our health care bill, no matter what was in it.

The people had voted a mandated reform
but Republicans blew off the gathering storm.

“We’ll clog up the Senate,” they cried with a grin.
“and in the midterm elections, we’ll get voted in.”

they knew regular folks needed help right this second
but fund-raisers lobbyists and politics beckoned.

So try as they might Democrats could not win
because their majority was simply too thin

Then across every state there rose such a clatter,
the whole Senate rushed out to see what was the matter.

All sprang up from their desk and ran from the floor,
straight through the cloakroom and right out the door.

And in what in the world would be quite so raucous,
but a mandate for change from the Democratic caucus.

The president, the speaker, of course leader Reid
had answered the call in our hour of need.

More rapid than eagles, the provisions they came
and they whistled and shouted and called them by name:

better coverage, cost savings, a strong public plan
accountable options, we said “yes, we can.”

No exclusions or changes for preexisting conditions.
let’s pass a bill that restores competition.

The Democrats all came together to fight
for the American people that Christmas eve night.

And then in a twinkle, I heard under the dome
the roll call was closed, and it was time to go home.

Despite the obstructionist tactics of some,
the filibuster had broken, the people had won

And a good bill was ready for President Obama,
ready to sign and end health care drama.

Democrats explained as they drove out of sight,
better coverage for all, even our friends on the right.

And I say to all of my colleagues in this season, merry Christmas and a happy, happy new year.

Move On Spoofs Lieberman

December 18, 2009 Leave a comment

Hilarious and sad at the same time.

McCain Whines About Comity to Protect his BFF Lieberman’s Feelings

December 17, 2009 Leave a comment

McCain today whined about the oh so fragile comity of the Senate when the presiding chair, Sen. Franken of Minnesota, denied Sen. Lieberman’s unanimous request for more time to speak after droning on endlessly for 10 minutes.

MCCAIN: I’ve never seen a member denied an extra minute or so, as the chair just did.

SEN. CARL LEVIN (D-MI): If the chair would yield for that…I think the same thing did occur earlier this afternoon, for reasons which have to do with trying to get this bill going. […]

MCCAIN: I think it harms the comity of the Senate.

Harms the Comity of the Senate?  You don’t have comity in the Senate when Sen. McCain and his fellow Republicans use the Sen. Gregg penned obstructionist manual for the sole purpose of wasting precious floor time.  You don’t have comity in the Senate when Sen. McCain cussed out fellow Republican Sen. Cornyn in a closed door meeting.  And you don’t have comity when Sen. McCain launched vile attack ads against then fellow Sen. Obama during the Presidential campaign.

The real story here is Sen. McCain trying to soothe his BFF Lieberman’s hurt feelings.  Their friendship is truly a love story for the ages.

Sen. Vitter Caught Shopping for Lingerie

November 25, 2009 Leave a comment

A Roll Call reader caught Sex Scandal Dave Vitter at Victoria’s Secret presumably shopping for his wife?  Anyways, Roll Call has the scoop:

Just hours before casting his health care vote, the sex-scandal-scarred Louisiana Republican looked “a bit lost” amid the ladies’ unmentionables, our spy said. Our witty, bargain-seeking HOH tipster mused on a few reasons that the Senator might be there.

“Is he looking for some ‘extra support’ for tonight’s big health care floor vote or is he up to his old habits?” the spy wondered.

I can do one liners too!  Ehem, here goes …

“Psst, Dave.  The DC Madame’s house is that a way.”

“Sir, the changing station is over there.”

“No, Victoria’s Secret does not count as a fact finding mission on women’s health.”

“Please Senator … stop touching those signs inappropriately.  People can see you.”

Sen. Ensign in Deep Trouble Over Affair Cover Up, Republicans Not Willing to Defend Fellow Senator

October 7, 2009 Leave a comment

Sen. Ensign (R-NV) faces an ethics investigation by the Senate Ethics Committee after the NYT released a tell all article over the lengths Ensign tried to reach to cover up his affair.  According to the NYT, Ensign found a lobbying job for the staffer whose wife Ensign had an affair with calling it a “soft landing” for the man who the Ensigns once considered a dear family friend.  After the staffer, Mr. Hampton, got the lobbying job, Mr. Hampton lobbied a complicit Ensign staff over a proposed five billion dollar coal plant in Nevada, a violation of an ethics law passed in 2007 that banned former campaign aides from having communications with their former boss a year after leaving their staff job.

Interestingly, Republicans are distancing themselves from Ensign, a man once considered a White House hopeful in 2012. Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell won’t even say anything about the matter let alone put in a good word for the guy.  CNN’s Dana Bash asked if Ensign will resign anytime soon and Ensign said No.  That’s something Republicans have been saying a lot lately.

Sen. Kennedy Passes the Torch

September 6, 2009 Leave a comment


Even during the twilight of Kennedy’s life these past few months, Sen. Kennedy never stopped working for the American people.  The following are three major pieces of legislation that Sen. Kennedy earnestly worked hard to pass in order to improve the lives of the American people and working families:

  • Health Care Reform – Sen. Kennedy called health care reform “the cause of his life” and believed that every American should have quality health care as a right and not a privilege.  The current health care reform bill being debated should focus on that goal.
  • Comprehensive Immigration Reform – Sen. Kennedy worked with the Bush Administration to fix the broken immigration system, but Bush was unable to pass immigration reform during the latter part of his Presidency.  Immigration reform is needed now more than ever so that undocumented immigrants are registered to become legal, tax paying workers, the immigration system is streamlined, and the border is secured.  The Washington Post reports that immigration reform will most likely be tackled before Easter 2010.
  • Healthy Families Act/Guaranteed Paid Sick Leave Legislation – This bill guarantees every American worker 7 days of paid sick leave for people working over 30 hours a week.  No longer should Americans have to worry about working even though they’re sick.

Thank you Sen. Kennedy for all your hard work.  The 111th Congress should honor Kennedy’s life and legacy by enacting the causes he believed in.